These were taken from a thread that I started on the newsgroup rec.arts.anime.misc in the first days of January 2003. The idea was to take the anime Bubblegum Crisis (either incarnation), a relatively famous anime director or manga creator that didn't work on the anime, and describe how it would have been different. Author credit is given at the end of each description.
(In early 2005, I repeated the theme, using Azumanga Daioh as the anime.)
Daily Wong is assigned to infiltrate the staff of a certain hot-springs ryokan, where he soon discovers that it's been turned into an all-female dorm which is actually the secret base for the Knight Sabers. Sylia has a watermelon fetish, goes "ara ara" all the time and in general acts like a klutz. This is all part of her deception. Priss wears a hakama and carries a katana with her, which she uses indiscriminately. Nene has a Kansai accent and enjoys kicking people in the head. Of course, Linna has extreme violent tendencies. And wears thick glasses. Daily vaguely remembers promising some girl that one day... ah, heck, this is getting too ridiculous for words. (C-H "5parrow")
5 minute episodes of the Knight Sabers fending off evil black-genom-gema agents, intent on destroying the Tokyo Gamer's store. Our hero Priss is a princess from the planet who shoots shoots eye-beams at the boomers, Linna-ko is her ever cute sidekick, Nene-en-Rose is twice as cute, Sylia's hardsuit is strangely round and yellow, Leon and Daley are both fanboyish Americans. (Some things never change, eh?) Everyone is super deformed. (Abraham Evangelista)
Sylia Stingray's life is turned upside down when justice loving, wanna-be-vigilante-angel Linna Yamazaki moves in next door and vows to be become her replacement father. Greeted one morning with an enthusiastic "I wanna be a Knight Saber!", she and her childhood friends Nene Romanova (who's had a crush on her since the fourth grade) and Priss Asagiri (the most popular girl in school!), must overcome the trials and tribulations caused by Linna's well-meaning but inept attempts to help people in her quest to become a Knight Saber. This ensemble cast is soon joined by Leon the softspoken Tokyo Cop in training, his ambiguously gender-preferenced, master-of-the-sarcastic-wit partner Daley the boomer, the not-so-evil and mostly clueless spiritulist (and head of Mitarai-corp) Largo Mitarai, and his jealous sister, MeiSon. Will Priss and Leon ever get together? Will Largo's bumbling attempts to win Linna's heart succeed? Does Linna pass the mercenary board's test and get to be a Knight Saber? Tune in for the next exciting episode of Pita-Sabre 2040! (Abraham Evangelista)
The Boomers will have a human form leader with a long face, really long eyes and spikey white hair. Both the Boomers and Knight Sabers would use swords. All battle sequences would be one-on-one. Each Boomer has a theme (like spider Boomer, Invincible Boomer with one weak spot, Boomer that disappears into shadows etc.). (Skeleton Man)
Konya wa Hurricane would be rewritten with chanting and Maaya Sakamoto. Priss' bike would transform into a giant phoenix/chimaera/unicorn/Hindu beastie thing with more chanting in the background. Lots and lots of bird imagery, love polygons and fish dying in polluted streams, topped with supremely gorgeous animation and... more chanting. (Andrew Hollingbury)
Miyazaki's would have starred Sylia when she was twelve, and had basically the same plot, only with more nature scenes and a different, more widely-appealing storyline.
(Brian Dinnigan)
More redheads! Also there would have been a strong subtext of mankind creating robotic monsters (boomers) which were raping the Earth. It would have been set in the 1800's. ("Robyn, Duke of
Amber")
Nene "Nene-chan" Kurata is an 11-year-old actress, celebrity and poster child for hyperactivity, as well as an engineering prodigy. Her wealthy mother, Sylia, is an award-winning lingerie designer and eccentric, and sharing their home is Nene's agent and bodyguard, Leon Sagami, known for his dark glasses, huge gun, and little-old-lady style of driving. Trouble raises its ugly head for Nene when the sullen leader of the boys in her class, Largo Hayama, blackmails the teacher (Ms. Madigan) into allowing him to bring dozens of animated human-weight dolls to class with him. This gives him an unstoppable gang with which to impose his will upon the school as a whole. Incensed by the injustice of this, Nene organizes her girlfriends Linna-chan, Priss-chan, Reika-chan, Sylvie-chan and Anri-chan into a fighting force to oppose Hayama. She builds them powered armor that allows them to take on Hayama's dolls in a straight fight. Humorous comments and a Greek chorus is provided by Fargo, the grey bat, who always seems to know what's going on everywhere in the story. (Bob Schroeck)
It would be a lot like the 2040 episodes where they are communicating telepathically, except that the colors would be a lot darker, and there would be at least one obligatory scene where they would have to "jack in" to the suits... Not to mention at least one "angel wings" scene, with plenty of religious references... (John Ballentine)
Lord Sylia has a secret underground base in the F prefecture of Mega Tokyo. From there she sends out her incredibly energetic secret
agent, Nene "Born to Excel", and the rather more gloomy (who keeps nearly getting killed) agent, Priss. Next door to Nene, who never gets enough food, live Leon, Daily and Mason, who don't get
on very well. Nene and Priss have a small dog, called Mackie... There is a strange man with a moustache called Quincy. Nene and Priss never really succeed in their missions, so there is always room
for a next episode. (Dreamer)
Priss and Linna are the top members (indeed, the only members) of the secret ideological
organization SILKYDOLL, under the leadership of the enigmatic Syliapalazzo. Priss is hyper, spazzy, and overzealous, where Linna is quiet, reserved, and unbelievably anemic. Anri yearns only to return
home to her sexy roommate, Quincy heads the Genom Safety Assurance Agency, with Mason, Miriam, Flint (who can only speak in subtitles), and Madigan (who the camera lingers a little too much
on) as his field agents. Millions of Buchu roam the city; they look cute and lovable, but inflict grevious harm upon them and their faces look like that of Golgo-13. Oh, and Nabeshin shows up whenever
the action starts to drag. (Thomas Slufik)
They all die and the city comes crumbling down in the end. (Skeleton Man)
Upon her arrival at Rosenkreutz Academy, young Sylia Tenjou is caught up in a mysterious cycle of powered armor duels, the goal of which is to possess the mysterious Saber Bride, Nene Himemiya. Opposing her is the Rosenkreutz Academy Student Council: Priss Arisugawa, Largo Kiryuu, Brian J. Saionji, and Daley Kaoru. Further dangers are posed by Daley's sister Linna, and Largo's sister Kate. And above all is the looming presence of The End of the World, Nene's handsome playboy brother Quincy Rosenkreutz. Cryptic commentary is provided every episode by A-ko and S-ko, the Shadowroids. (In the motion picture version, the names and the voice actors remain the same but the characters' personalities are drastically altered, and in the hallucinogenic climax, Sylia turns into a robot which Nene operates using a Radio Shack RC controller. In the DVD commentary track, the director refuses to explain why, because he claims it would reduce the artistic impact of the film.) (Bob Schroeck)
Uber-babe designs with toned svelte Knight Sabers (the lesbian scene would be cut out of the Dark Horse english translation). It would talk more about humanity's integration with machines. It would possibly have landmate style hardsuits. And of course Sylia would be a boomer. ("Robyn, Duke of Amber")
(Mr. Sonoda did character designs for the OAVs - he didn't write scripts or direct episodes.)
Nene (and maybe Linna) would have been younger, the nude
scenes would have been longer, and the "lesbian subtext" would have been more obvious. Other than that, no changes. (Rob Kelk)
Boomers would have come from outer space, the past, or both. Mackie wouldn't be related to Sylia, which would be a good thing since all four of the Knight Sabers would be romantically interested in him, and Quincy would get into one-on-one fights with Sylia. (Rob Kelk)
Sylia Stingray is a cute, perky schoolgirl who unbeknownst to anyone is actually the pretty hardsuited soldier for love and justice, Saber Moon! With her friends Nene (Saber Mercury), Priss (Saber Mars) and her two ravens (Doc and Pops), Linna (Saber Jupiter), and Reika (Saber Venus), she fights the battle against the bouma of the GENOM Kingdom, led by Dark King Quincy and his generals Largo, Mason, Madigan and Miriam. (In the North American edition, the homoerotic relationship between Largo and Mason is largely obscured, and Madigan is dubbed with a male voice for no apparent reason.) In this fight they are aided by Hentai Mask (Mackie) and guided by their two Moon-Dogs, Leon and Daley. In later seasons, other Sabers appear: Saber Uranus (Sylvie), Saber Neptune (Anri), Saber Saturn (Lisa Vanette) and the mysterious Saber Pluto. (Bob Schroeck)
The boomers would get progressively more powerful, as would the Knight Sabers' hardsuits, there would be episode-long "powerup" sequences, and people would actually get older, marry, and train their children in the "family business". Oh, and there would be a lot more scatalogical humour, too. (Rob Kelk)
Boomers would be the result of a failed biomechanical research or humans "infested" by a nano-technological parasite that, in a Terminator kind of story, wants to eradicate the human race for considering it obsolete or to protect the Earth. There would be plenty of scenes where the Knights would be on their "eve-clothings" to allow the artist to his obsession of drawing detailed breasts. There will surelly be some sort of lesbian relation ship either inplicit (innuendo) or explicit, that would slowly develop. Nene would be jealous of Priss' bigger breasts. Sylia's father would have been killed by a Genom commanding executive when he was placing the still young Sylia into an escape pod to save her from a certain death - this could happen on a space station, following events on Red Eyes - and Sylia would grow to become leader of the Sabers guided by unknown forces. And Mackie will have serious nose-bleeds whenever he sees the Sabers naked. (Jose Rivera)
Oh, that's right, he did it already. It's Silent Mobius! (Vince Lamb)
Oh, wait a minute, that's just Devilman Lady with battle suits. (Dave Baranyi)
Last update: 4 January 2005