The Dukes of El-Hazard

In the fanfic "3 ½'s COMPANY", Gregg Sharp wrote:

CHALLENGE: hey, this overall concept seems to work fairly well, let's see some more fusions using it, ne?

If you insist ... [evil grin]

In the fanfic "3 1/2's COMPANY", Gregg Sharp also wrote:

more-or-less standard disclaimer
most characters,series are © of their respective owners. if i had any money, i wouldn't be in the situations i'm in and could actually accomplish something more than sitting at home typing a story like this.

What he said. Also, Toltiir and the Mesa Arizona Geeks appear courtesy of Gregg Sharp.

      Those two geeks in Mesa Arizona are arguing over what to watch again.
      "Let's watch the Sci-Fi Channel - they're running some science-fantasy anime this week!"
      "Science-fantasy shows? You're kidding, right? It's time for some car chase shows over on the Nashville Network, and I always watch those!"
      "They're all reruns! Science-fantasy!"
      "Car chases!"
      "Science-fantasy!"
      "Car chases!"
      Our favorite black cat cleared its throat. The two geeks almost faint as they realize in horror that their defences hadn't worked. "Toltiir! Not again!"
      The cat smiles and tries to jump to the top of the set, but gets swatted away by one of the geeks. He lands on top of the remote. The set comes on - the new horror is just beginning ...

THE DUKES OF EL-HAZARD

by Rob Kelk

SCENE: A backwoods road somewhere south of the Mason-Dixon Line. Suddenly, a vehicle comes bounding over a rise in the road. It "gets air" for a few seconds, and we hear the people riding it shout "HAIIIII-YAAAAAH!!!!!"

This vehicle isn't your run-of-the-mill automobile. In fact, it isn't an automobile at all. It almost looks like a boat, complete with a ship's wheel, and it floats a couple of inches above the road (usually). It's painted bright orange with a black "01" on each side, with a Roshtarian flag on the front. There are two people on the skimmer - the younger one is driving; the scruffy-looking one is riding at point.

CUT TO a stock montage of the "General Londs" driving to town.

CUT TO what could be the main street in practically any Smalltown USA, except that the flag painted on the Dukes' skimmer is flying from some of the flagstaffs. The local sheriff and a cute redhead wearing short-shorts and a tied-off blouse are arguing beside a skimmer with personalized plates that read "NANAMI", parked outside a restaurant supply store.

Sherrif Diva adds to the ticket she's writing and prepares to tear one copy out of her book to hand to Nanami. Just as she's about to do so, the "General Londs" comes around the corner and Fujisawa grabs the entire book from Diva's hand. Makoto doesn't even slow down.

The "General Londs" turns a corner and is lost to view. Diva walks over to her skimmer and grabs the radio. Meanwhile, Nanami drives off.

CUT TO another part of Smalltown USA. A "black-and-white" skimmer is parked across the road, just past a small hill. Deputy Ifurita is standing beside the vehicle with her pistol in hand. Suddenly we hear the unmistakable roar of the "General Londs". It comes over the hill and flies over the police skimmer.

A long white luxury skimmer with longhorns on the front pulls up. A well-dressed man steps out of it and walks over to the deputy.

CUT TO COMMERCIAL

The words "The following is a paid commercial message, and does not necessarily reflect the views of this station" appear for a few seconds, then we see two young women sharing a love seat. One has dark hair; the other's hair is purple.

Alielle puts her arm around Fatora.

The words "The preceeding was a paid commercial message, and does not necessarily reflect the views of this station" appear for a few seconds.

SCENE: A big tent set up in a farmer's field. A sign reads "Sisters of Muldoon Travelling Revival Show". The "General Londs" and Nanami's skimmer are parked in front.

CUT TO inside the tent, where the three Dukes are talking with the oldest of three women present.

Most of the group leaves the tent.

CUT TO a second stock montage of the "General Londs" driving to town.

CUT TO downtown Smalltown USA, as the Dukes drive past Sheriff Diva's parked skimmer. Fujisawa tosses Diva's ticket book into the vehicle.

Both skimmers pull into an alleyway and everyone gets out. They move to the office's back door, which (surprisingly enough) is already open. Walking in, they see the bogus permits and the matching money sitting on Jinnai's desk.

Everyone turns to see Deputy Ifurita in the doorway. Most of the group looks terrified; Makoto looks relieved. For the first time ever on camera, Ifurita smiles.

Ifurita picks up the money, less the true cost of an exhibition permit. She hands it to Miz, then turns to Makoto and kisses him on the cheek.

The Dukes and the Sisters of Muldoon quickly leave the office and get into their skimmers. They pull out of the alleyway and drive off in opposite directions, but are spotted by Sheriff Diva.

Diva turns on her siren and follow the "General Londs".

CUT TO the most exciting part of the show - a ten-minute chase that includes two gully-jumps and a fence-hop, each accompanied by the famous Duke "HAIIIII-YAAAAAH!!!!!" Diva doesn't manage the fence-hop. Too bad that this is all the description the chase gets, ne?

CUT TO the "Sisters of Muldoon Travelling Revival Show" as the "General Londs" pulls up. Nanami's skimmer pulls up at the same time from a different direction. Everyone gets out and hurries toward the tent.

They enter the tent, only to find "Boss" Jinnai waiting for them.

Ifurita enters the tent and walks over to Jinnai. She whispers in his ear. Jinnai's face turns red.

Jinnai and Ifurita leave the tent. As Ifurita leaves, she winks at Makoto.

ROLL ENDING CREDITS

Last update: 16 February 2001